10 Things I Learned in My First 90 Days of Blogging
|January 18, 2014||Posted by Mommyhooddom under Blogging|
In celebration of my first 90 days of blogging, I’m giving away a CAR!!!!!
I’m just kidding. I WISH I could give you a car. I really do. You deserve it! You’d be happy and I’d get to come to your house for dinner any time I wanted! For life!
But since I can’t give away a car, I want to humbly thank you for visiting my little mommy blog. I’m sure you could have been doing much more important things, like flossing.
As a small token of my appreciation, I thought I’d share a little of what I’ve learned in my first 90 days as a blogger. It’s not much, but it’s all I have for now.
I can already feel your excitement.
For your reading pleasure, I made a Top 10 List, and because I heard they’re more likely to go viral.
Please feel free to share this post with your friends. It’s FREE! You can use those little buttons at the bottom. I think they work. No one’s actually clicked on them yet.
Heeeeeeeeerrrre are the:
10. Blogging is addictive! The Surgeon General just released a report that says blogging is twice as addictive as Oreo cookies, but still 1/3 less addictive than Starbucks.
9. Comments from readers are better than sex. Nice comments like, “OMG, I LOVE your blog!” “I totally agree with you.” and “I just pinned your post on Pinterest!” are way better than a poke… on Facebook.
8. Twitter is like high school. You feel awkward on your first day. Everybody else seems to know exactly what to do. The only girl who wants to be your friend has symbols in her name and wears black eye shadow… on her cheeks.
7. Google+ is the new Facebook, but you can’t effin’ figure out how to use it.
6. Children of mothers who blog are 5 times more likely to seek identity-altering facial plastic surgery by the time they reach 18, especially if their mothers post photos of them ad nauseam.
5. Obsessively and compulsively checking your smartphone is the new hand washing.
4. Checking for comments, posting, tweeting and pinning is best done on Wednesday nights and Thursday mornings and Friday afternoons and Saturday mornings and Sunday mid-day and Monday from 3pm to midnight and any other time.
3. “Spreading the love” and “linking-up” with total strangers are not only socially acceptable, they’re vital to your survival. Boy, have times changed since I was in college.
2. No one reads a blog in its first 90 days. Well, ok maybe a couple of COOL people. Hi Aunt Sally!
1. Most bloggers run out of things to say in their first 90 days and resort to doing bogus give-aways and inane top 10 lists.
Bonus! Bloggers tend to exaggerate.
Coming soon on Mommyhooddom… A Super Hilarious Blog Post You’ll Want to Read a Million Times to All Your Friends, Over the Phone, While in The Bathtub, Eating Bacon!!!