3 Super-Short, Yet True Stories
|February 14, 2014||Posted by Jennifer under Breastfeeding, Mommyhooddom|
Please enjoy these true parenting stories courtesy of yours truly.
True Parenting Story #1: Mystery Crumbs
So the other night my husband and I took Baby B to the local pre-pre-school to register for the fall semester. We waited in line for an hour, but that’s completely irrelevant (annoying, but still irrelevant).
As we waited, Baby B wandered away from us to play with some other kids. We could see him, but he was well out of reach. At one point, I realized he was eating something. The pre-school hadn’t provided snacks and neither had I.
I ran over to him and saw that whatever it was he had just consumed, was mostly all gone. There were but a few unidentifiable crumbs left on top of a nasty folding table.
“Baby Boy! Don’t eat that,” I said. “I have no idea what it is!”
With the pure, innocent, matter-of-factness one could only get from a two-year-old, he said, “It’s a cracker, Mama.”
Well, of course!
I nearly died laughing.
True Parenting Story #2: The Lies Parents Tell
Despite the fact that Baby B is still co-sleeping with me all night, every night, and still nurses up to 12 hundred hours a night, we bought him a big-boy bed, and set it up in his bedroom.
If you buy it, they will eventually sleep in it, right?
(His crib is for sale by the way, if anybody wants it. Never used, except as a toy box.)
So my husband and I have started an overly enthusiastic propaganda campaign to “sell” Baby B on the concept of sleeping alone in his new bed.
We say things like this in breathless, high-pitched, Sham-Wow style, “Someday, when you’re a REALLY big boy, you’re going to get to sleep in this brand new bed all by yourself, and it’s going to be REALLY fun!”
“Whenever you want to, you can sleep right here in your very own bed without Mama! It’s going to be great (for Mama)!”
I think my husband may be getting a bit overzealous with his sales tactics because last night as Baby B and I were climbing into bed, Baby B said to me, “When I get WEALLY big, I sleep in my bed with Daddy and get some boobie.”
Not exactly sure what kind of a sales pitch that was based on, but I can guarantee Baby B the part about getting some boobie from Daddy is a lie.
True Parenting Story #3 What the Heck Does Mom Know
I think this parenting thing is all about establishing and maintaining credibility and authority.
Mine is slipping through my fingers one visit from the grandparents at a time.
Just this evening, Baby B came running into my bathroom where he proceeded to ask me if his Gigi and Papa had brought him a present. I carefully explained that we only get presents on our birthday and at Christmas. Therefore, Gigi and Papa had most likely not brought any presents this time.
Ten seconds later, I see Baby B running out of the guest bedroom carrying not one, not two, but three presents from Gigi and Papa.
So much for my authorit-eye.
What gross thing has your child eaten? What lies have you told? How do you maintain credibility with your wee one?